Smell my Genes

I can smell your sexy
I can smell your sexy.

Apparently odor plays a HUGE part in how human beings choose a "mate". Both how you perceive smell and what you smell like are affected by your genetic makeup. But birth control pills are threatening the future of the human race by affecting womens' ability to smell out men who are genetically different from them.

According to a recent study researching the affects of birth control on perceptions of sexual attractiveness :

"The results showed that the preferences of women who began using the contraceptive pill shifted towards men with genetically similar odors," said UL evolutionary psychologist Craig Roberts. "Not only could [this] similarity in couples lead to fertility problems, but it could ultimately lead to the breakdown of relationships when women stop using the contraceptive pill, as odor perception plays a significant role in maintaining attraction to partners."

The idea that I'm smelling out my men makes me a little uncomfortable. The idea that AXE commercials may be scientifically valid makes me cringe. But the idea that taking birth control affects who I am attracted to just downright freaks me the fuck out. And do different brands make you attracted to different types? Yaz makes you want a hairy, muscular misogynist while Ovcon pushes you towards sensitive, artistic jerks?
If you took Orthotricyclin, you'd think this guy smells totally hot

We all know that hormones can affect our thinking. Anyone who's ever cried at a WGN family drama starring Billy Ray Cyrus then realized that it's the day before her period can attest to that. Personally, my PMS tends to manifest itself in the form of sudden existential crises, skin-deep arm-chair philosophy, and trying to sound profound on Twitter.

But no one wants science to force them to acknowledge how deeply hormones can effect such basic decision-making processes as choosing a lover-- something that we would normally consider a fundamental part of our basic identities.

I guess the only thing to do is to either NEVER take birth control, or else to pick one brand and stick with it for as long as you want your marriage to last.


  1. Anonymous said,

    Personally I'm just glad to have another thing to blame for why girls don't like me. It's birth control's fault.

    on August 14, 2008 at 4:56 PM